A new beginning
by JacobIsInLoveWithMe
Summary: Jake and Leah want to give their live together a try. Both being sick of pain decide to move on and start a life worth living, fortunately with each other, far away from those who caused them all the grief and disappointment.For all Blackwater lovers!Try
1. Chapter 1

_After my first fanfic isn't very good, I thought I'd try it again:)_

_I hope you like it and leave a review to let me know what you think, it can be negative, I want to improve my writing:)_

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"_I pushed my legs faster letting Jacob Black disappear behind me"_

The huge russet wolf flew through the forest, the muscles in his legs flexing with each stride. Nothing could stop him from leaving and never coming back, he was determined to do the only thing that was right for him. He wanted to stop planning his life complying with Bellas wishes. He felt free for the first time- really free. He even enjoyed the leaves and twigs punching in his face. And the fresh air filling his loungs with each deep breath he took. The thoughts of the others disappeared behind him, leaving him with a pleasant silence that made it possible to let his mind blank out.

Shortly before everything slipped from his mind, he suddenly heard paws hitting the ground. The footsteps were coming closer, closing the distance steadily. At first he didn't know who it was , but then he recognized how light the feet touched the ground meaning that this could only be Leah, since she was the smallest and the fastest wolf.

**"_Go away Leah, I'm leaving. Don't try to stop me.I've made my decision, this is the only thing that's good for me."_ **could she hear him?The answer came in one second.

"**You don't have to leave. You're only running away from your problems. I have considered that many times too - but what difference would that make?"**

**"Why do you even fucking care? This are MY problems as you said. Why didn't you just do so? We were all sick of your thoughts filled with hate and pain. Especially Sam!"**

He really felt bad about bringing up the topic _Sam_, knowing that this was the one thing that really hurt her. That could tear open the surface of the strong woman and let the vulnerable, hurt girl shine through. He had never paid any attention to Leah and how she felt, of course he thought that she was pretty but the bitterness that she lived with had a deterrent effect and masked her personality. It was hard for him to remember how she once was, because her attitude towards life had clouded the nice memories. All he had done was to ignore her and her terrible thoughts. He never understood her until the day that Bella did the same with his heart that Sam had done with Leahs. Now he knew that she wasn't the one to blame. Now he understood her even better than he wanted ,he knew how broken Leah was- just like Bella had been after the leech had left her. He, Jacob Black was broken,HE had always been there for Bella to fix her. But who would fix him now?

Leah respondetd to this thought, but what suprised Jacob was that she wasn't annoyed or maliciously.

**"Hmm, maybe you're right when you say that I never got over him. I really want to forgive him, I want to learn how to forget but it's not as easy as it sounds. I know you better than you think because we've been through the same shit! You're broken, just like me! I wish I could leave with you! Get out of this mess until we both can forgive Sam and Bella."**

He didn't answer for a long time, bcause he had to think it over. Leah wouldn't be such a bad company since she feels the same he does. The pain, disappointment, hope that your beloved one would choose you, hate...so many scattered feelings. She was the only one who could really understand him and running alone didn't seem to be best idea he had ever had. He could really use some good company and it could be fun with her,he teasing her and she teasing him, laughing togeher like it had been in their childhood: careless and free.

**"So I'm in?"**

**"Yeah I guess. Could you phase?We'll meet in the meadow 100 meters further.I think we're far enough away from the pack."**

Jacob phased immediately,not wanting to wait for an answer. He dressed quickly in an old pair cut off jeans and a blue shirt. Leah wasn't there but he could tell that she was hiding behind near trees,already phased back. Thanks to his wolfsenses he could see her - she was naked.

All of a sudden his heartbeat accelerated which seemed really strange to him just like the fact that she was hiding from him. It made no sense to him, because they've seen each other naked at least a hundred times. Jacob understood that she wasn't going to come out so he took off his shirt, put it onto the floor and turned around so she could slip into it. When she was dressed and turned to face him, she looked him right in the eye. He stared back,reading the expression on her face, focusing on her beautiful eyes. His stare wandered over her body, observing every scratch, bruise, her cute dimples, every inch of her flawless skin, the nuances of her hair and skin... he never noticed before, how beautiful she was. Bella was nothing compared to Leahs body and soul, she is a weak kind of person, who always relies on someone else and never stands on her own two feet. The total opposite of Leah, who learned to be independent. He never looked at her that way, but now,why shouldn't he?

Leah thought similar to Jake. She thought that he was perfect, from his head to his toes. Her view was drawn to his now exposed, very well defined chest. Her eyes followed a single bead of sweat that trickled down his chest, over his thight sixpack and disappearing in the fabric of his cutt offs, leaving her with inappropriate thoughts that were very unlikely for her, concerning that it was Jake she was thinking about. Their skin had the same creamy bronze colour, matching perfectly. She heard how his heartbeat raced and hers did exactly the same. She had doubts about her thoughts, doubts about Jake. But she had to consider the weird feeling in the pit of her stomach. She couldn't quite place the feeling, but it felt like love somehow. With one last look into his deep brown eyes, which showed how devoted he was to her, she decided to give it a try.

Perhaps Leah Clearwater and Jacob Black could be a perfect match.

"Jake,..."Leah started in a shy voice, which didn't fit her character at all, but from one second to the other she felt totally different about Jake.

"You know I love Sam and we both know that I have to move on and..."Her voice broke, and after her eyes let a single tear break free to run over her cheek, she really started to cry. Cry it all out, all the pain that she had locked up inside of her for all this time.

Jake felt horrible seeing her suffer,it caused him physical and emotional pain to know that Leah felt so bad and he wasn't doing anything to help her. Watching her cry, he was suprised when he felt something wet running over his own cheek. Right now he hated himself for not knowing how much he really loved Leah until this moment in the meadow. How he didn't see the signs: They've been arguing all the time, but thats what teenagers who are in love do. They act like they don't care about each other, until a moment in that one of them confesses their feelings. He moved toward Leah,who had dropped to her knees by now and held her head in her hands, trying to hide the tears that wouldn't stop falling from her eyes. He pulled her up and embraced her with all the love he could give right now, hiding his face in her long black hair, which was the same as his, except for the soft waves that made hers so different from other Quileute girls hair. Jake and Leah were so similar to each other,yet so different.

They stood there for a very long time,none of them wanting to let go of the other but finally Jacob was the one who pulled away,as hard as it was, and looked into her still was beautiful,with tears all over her was what Jake thought.

(little 'flashback'...don't know how to call it.;])

When she realized the tears in the corner of her eyes, she hated herself for giving in to her feelings. She didn't want to cry infront of Jacob. She would never trust anyone ever again. She was broke and belonged to Sam**_. 'I belong to him,i belong to him, I belong to him,I...'_**she fell onto her knees and hid her face in her hands. SAM. Was all she could think of until two big warm hands gently pulled her onto her feet again. Jakes long and muscular arms clung around her to comfort her. She felt safe and understood for the first time in her life, but it ended way too fast. When he pulled away she felt pain again and was ashame that she did cry infront of him! When she finally looked into his big dark eyes she felt better, not only because she saw tears sparkling in the sun,on his beautiful,perfect loving face.

Jake hugged her a second time, breathing in her scent, that sweet, lemony, fresh scent of hers. He even loved her scent, he loved her hair, he loved her skin, he loved her eyes, he loved her strength, he loved her vulnerability, he loved her independence, he loved her humor, he loved her tears, and he would make her smile, to see if he would love it and he was absolutely sure that he would. He didn't just love everything about her, he loved HER and everything that belonged to her.

"I love you" he whispered into her ear afraid of her reaction and that she might change her mind ,go and leave him.

"w-what?" She seemed to choke on it.

He pulled himself together and repeated.

"I love you"

Leah couldn't belive her ears. Jake, Jacob Black LOVED her? That's what he said, she wanted to believe him so badly, she wanted somebody to love her, to hold her, to comfort her, to make her laugh, to tell her that he loved her, meaning it. Jake could be that somebody.

"I love you too. Idiot."

Leah and Jake stared at each other, their eyes shining bright. She had never seen such an amount of love in anybodies eyes before, his dark chocolate brown eyes were looking directly into her soul. As he took her face in is big hands she couldn´t resist his hot breath against her full pink lips, causing her to long for their lips to touch. Jakes eyes only closed when Leahs did, because her green eyes with those irresistible honey drops captivated him. When their lips touched all the pain, desperation, rejection, hate, bitterness and most of all love, if the tiny pieces of their shattered hearts could even feel something like love, unloaded in that touch. The salty tears ran down their cheeks and mixed with the kiss which got more passionate every second. Jakes hands sneaked around her hips to press her body closer to his, leaving a burning trail on the small of her back. Her hands curled up in his hair to close even the tiniest space between them. After a minute or two they broke away from each other to catch their breaths and Jake rested his forehead against Leahs to blow in her face teasingly. Leah had to laugh which made Jake smile and confirm his earlier thought about her smile. The look of those lips smiling made him kiss her again. But this time like a first kiss should be: tender, careful and sweet.

He has never been so happy, neither has she. They were smiling at each other,knowing they had to handle many problems,as already said they were both broken, but now they both had somebody to fix them. They would forgive and learn how to forget.

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reviews are love :*


	2. Chapter 2

JPOV

"Jake...stop it."she mumbled. But I knew that she secretly was glad I didn´t.

She stood in the kitchen, cutting vegetables into small squares for our dinner, when I sneaked up behind her. The loose strands of hair that framed her face when she pulled it up into a messy bun, like she was wearing it now, were so tempting. I just had to tuck those soft, jet black strands behind her ear. By now I could feel how the pace of her heartbeat picked up and that her lips were pulled up into a huge grin, which if I saw it , would let my heart melt into a warm puddle and let my reasoning fly out of the next window. Both my hands travelled along her neck and came to a stop on her shoulders, with my thumps massaging her shoulderblades, which let her lift her head high in the air and a small moan escape her lips, showing the pleasure my simple movement caused her. "Mhhhh Jake, right there. Wow you can't imagine how that lets the stress of the week disappear like it's nothing." A deep chuckle erupted from my chest. "Oh, of course I can, you've told me so many times when I did this". Soon I let my left hand rest and turned her around to face me by grabbing her right shoulder with a little bit more force. The second I could see her eyes, I couldn't take mine of hers, they were enchanting. The magnificent green matching her russet skin perfectly and those unmistakable honey-coloured drops were something I had never seen before in my entire life. They were as if the artist that created them put too much colour on his brush, wanting to give her eyes the special something and let the excess liquid drop into them, creating those irresistible irises. But it wasn't just the colour that made them so unique, it was the way they used to shine, when she was truly happy or how they would turn a shade darker when she was angry. It was how I was able to read her emotions trough her eyes, even when her face and body hid them perfectly.

Her body was shifting slightly and she looked down, signaling that I was practically staring her down. "C'mon Jake, seriously? You're staring at me like a fucking freak!" She laughed at me. "I don't care. you're too fascinating! And well, isn't there a little freak in everyone of us?"She started to open her mouth to object something but I stopped her before she could by lowering my mouth to the crook of her neck, breathing my hot breath onto her smooth skin, sending shivers all over her.

My hands soon moved to her neck, supporting her as she stretched to stand on her tip toes, making me look at those pink, full lips of hers. I leaned into her, closing the space between us but stopped when my lips lightly touched hers. I felt her breath getting unsteady and impatient against my lips,I loved to tease her. After we stood like that for almost a minute, I couldn't resist her any longer. This was our way of stare down and I lost most of the time. I finally met her lips with much force, capturing them with my mouth, driving her insane. My hands were still at her neck when she reached hers up to my hair to pull me closer, to feel my body pressed against her own. I parted her lips, not having to wait long for her permission, once inside our tounges battled for dominance, no one winning until we had to break away to breathe again. I layed my forehead against hers , gazing into her eyes and panting hard, just like her. This time she made the next move, tracing her way to along my chest, letting my heartbeat exaggerate. When she reached the hem of my shirt, she let her fingertips slip under it and roled it up painfully slow inch for inch. I made it easier for her to get it off of me by lifting my arms and pulling it off myself because she could not reach over my head. Rolling back fully onto her feet leah looked directly at my chest, bringing her hands down, tracing the shape of my muscles with her fingertips. When she began to place soft kisses on my chest I startet to nibble on her ear, carefully starting to use my tounge, I licked along her neck and made her a hickey on the shoulder, where she could hide it under her clothes if she wanted. I was still debating in my head wether to undress her or not, because we hadn't have sex yet and I didn't know if she was ready. After some time I came to the conclusion that she was ready, why else would she be so eager to be close to me if she wasn't. So I continued to kiss her, moving my hands to the first button of her yellow blouse that I gave to her instead of yellow sunflowers on a random day in winter, because I couldn't find any flowers(before south america ). She started to laugh at my attempt, which made me pout at her. She remained chuckling but reassured me how sweet that gesture was and to support her statement she wore the yellow blouse a lot. I opened the first button, then the second and then the third. When the third button was opened, I could see the top of her breast which were pushed up by her bra, looking so seductive as they moved up and down from her heavy breathing. My head sank down and I planted many kisses on her beautiful breasts, causing her to moan craving for more. I opened the rest of the buttons while caressing her torso with my kisses and touches. Finally I was able to push the blouse over her shoulders, letting it drop to her feet and revealing her whole upper body except for her breasts which where hidden under her white lace-bra, which made her look so innocent. I knew that she wasn't a virgin anymore, Sam had not forgotten to take that from her before leaving her broken, desperate and ragged like a piece of rotten garbage. I truly hated him for causing this beautiful, strong and independent woman so much pain. For not fighting for the love of the woman which now was with me, which was the only thing about the whole affair that's positive. And last but not least for not seeing what he lost by choosing Emily, plain and boring Emily over Leah, her COUSIN for fucks sake! I wanted to make up all mistakes that Sam had made, not to take the guilt away from him, but to make Leah okay, to put her back together as good as it was possible ,Leah the woman I loved. With that thought I continued kissing her, letting my hand wander around her waist and up to the seal(?) of her bra to open it with one hand. In less than a second her bra fell onto the floor next to her blouse, leaving me breathless for a second. Well, after all she was the first woman who's chest I got to see for real from such a short distance and I didn't imagine it to be so good. My kisses left damp traces all over her upper body, raising goosebumps whenever a breeze hit her body. I had the nerve to grab one of her breasts, twist her nipple between my thump and my index finger and suck on her other nipple, making her crush her bosy against mine, pushing herself as close to me as she could. By now I could feel the pressure inside of me building up and my erection growing bigger with each moan and groan that escaped her lips. She could definetely feel me pressing against her body as I embraced her, kissing her on the lips again but before I could get really into it she stopped me:"Jake stop." I stared at her flabbergasted, worried and hurt at the same time. I guess she could read my eyes like I could read hers, because she immediately destroyed my worries by saying: "We can´t do it here,in the kitchen!"relived I answered: " thats your only problem..." before throwing her over my shoulder and carrying her into our room and onto the huge four-poster. I pinned her underneath my big body, making it impossible for her to get me off, but she didn't even try, she just turned me on even more."I love you" Leah whispered ,"I love you more" I mumbled before I went back to kissing her chest moving down to her stomach.

After hours of pure satisfaction, love, sweat and all the things that inevitable belong to sex I was exhausted. The last few hours were like nothing I had ever experienced before, it felt like my body was melting into hers, creating something pure and clear, I can't even describe it.

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I woke up in the morning, blinded by the bright sunlight that shone through the huge window. I looked at Leah, not beeing able to do anything else than to smile as I saw how she was curled up against me, having a strong hold on my upper arm. Her now waist-long, jet black, wavy hair was sprawled out around us, partly covering her face, making her look as careless and unburdened as she used to be before Sam had left her. I gave her a small peck on the temple before relaxing my neck and sinking back into the cushions.

Closing my eyes I let our life pass past my inner that day in the meadow we both started to heal and now we were almost there, almost healed. We were good for each other. Leah didn´t forget Sam and I didn't forget Bella, they reserved tiny pieces of our hearts.I didn't think about Bella too much, only sometimes, beeing sorry for the way things between us turned out, but never regretting that I left her. And if I did think about her I always talked about it with Leah.

Finally I could be happy,also happy for Bella. My life couldn´t be any better, in his little house with my true love Leah.

After we decided to run away,about ten years ago we have been almost everywere. We never stopped phasing, enjoying the sensation of the speed and all the other benefits it gave us too much, not to forget about the not aging thing. Now we lived in a small town in south america, in which everybody knew each other like a big family. We were very happy in our little white house with only two bedrooms, a small but comfortable kitchen and a small only thing that was really big was our bed, which is natural if you are a werewolf. And when we stepped out of the backdoor we were looking into the rainforest, the most beautiful creation of mother earth. Leah loved the garden, with the exotic flowers and huge seemed like another world was hidden in the darkest parts of the forest. Both of us had a job now,Leah worked with children, not fully having accepted the fact that she couldn't have any but trying to make the best of it. I had a job in a garage, doing what I did since I was little, enjoying every day.

We loved our life.

"Morning honey" I said in a sweet voice as I felt Leah wake up, tossing her blanket around. I looked into her eyes as she opened them slowly, memorizing the little spark in them.

"Hey Jake" she said, fighting against her fatigue by yawning and stretching her limbs. I then heard her stomach grumble.

"You houngry?" I asked her laughing hard.

"Yeah,starving"She grinned at me.

"Well,I guess it´s my turn today. So come with me, or do you want breakfast in bed?"

My face was beaming with joy as she howled quiet in satisfaction.

" Let me think..."She jumped out of the bed and smirked at me.

" You know you're naked, don't you?But I don´t mind just stay like that..."

She rushed over to the bed and smacked my had lightly, causing me to shake of laughters.

Now I got up to hug and kiss her, we were standing there for a moment, holding us close to one another. Then we got dressed and she pulled my hand in direction of the kitchen. On the way I scooped her up into my arms, sat her on a chair and went to the stove as we arrived in the kitchen.

"Ehm. What do you want?" I asked her.

"How about eggs and toast?"

"I hoped you were going to say that because we don´t have anything else" Now she was the one laughing.

I put our plates onto the kitchen table and was about to sit down as leah grabbed both our plates and carried them to the table in the garden. "Oh right, I forgot" I chuckled as I watched and followed her outside. As we sat down, we immediately began stuffing our mouths, the appetite was still unbelievable. We didn't speak but that didn't make me feel uncomfortable on the contrary it made me feel understood, there was a soothing harmony between us. My mind began to wander, finally I was thinking about home and how I had hurt Billy by leaving without a word of goodbye. I was the only one he had left and I just ran away, letting him go through pain that was very similar to the pain of loosing my mother. I broke the silence, not knowing how it came to my mind or why I said it but it didn't matter because I didn't have any secrets from her anyway: "Uhm Lee..."

"What is it?" She was surprised, and a little bit afraid of what she would hear, I assumed that she could sense the ,for me unusual, insecurity.

"You know,I was wondering about Billy. It would be nice to see him again, he is getting older now. And I thought you might want to see Seth again and Sue."  
"Yeah might be," The look on Leahs face was sad but in one little moment realization flicked across her features, leaving her with tears welling up in her eyes.

"Lee, are you alright?" I was concerned, why did I have to bring up this topic...My brain worked hard thinking of reasons that could have upset her. I didn't come up with anything until it made 'click' inside of me.

"You don´t really think I want to back because of her?"I couldn't believe it. Didn't she trust me? I healed her and she most definetely healed me!

"Well.I thought..." She began to sob uncontrollably, letting the tears fall freely from her eyes, wetting her food. "'shh,it's alright" I whispered as I clung my arms aroud her , pulling her onto my lap and rocking her back and forth. Her sobs eventually started to cease, and she was pushing herself closer against me, searching for support and shelter which I gave her more than willingly.

I didn't really think about meeting Bella until Leah had brought the topic up. She had moved away a long time ago with the leeches, there's no other possibility if they changed her. And I was sure that Edward did it since she wanted it so badly.

"Lee-lee,she won´t be there,she will be gone."

Leah burried her face in my shoulder and sighed."that's good",was all she said.

"you know what?"

"What?"

"I just thought about the fact that you aren´t all nasty and bitchy anymore"

"Don´t be so sure about that" She said smirking.

" will you kiss me now?"

She moved her lips to mine but before they touched, she shoved my plate between our lips, letting mine end up pressed against it. I had to laugh and licked the plate, enjoying the flavour of the eggs, waking my appetite anew.

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	3. Chapter 3

LPOV

"Are you ready?" Jacob yelled across the house, disturbing me in my "saying goodbye session". I wasn't in the mood to answer him.

"Lee-lee?"he asked again and I supposed he looked for me in every room, finally finding me, standing in the garden looking at all the different colours for one last time. Jake had told me so many times that we would come back but I was afraid that he wouldn't leave his father a second time or let himself be controlled by Bella again. But it wasn't only him I was worried about, it was also myself. Only thinking of Seths pleading and oh so sweet and caring eyes made my heart feel like it was beeing squashed by the guilt I felt for leaving him behind. I really couldn't tell if I could do it again, since the pain that Sam, the reason for my leaving, had caused me had almost faded away completely. There was no reason for me to leave again, once in La Push I would have my mom and my baby brother back and I knew that Jake would stay with me. But right now I wanted to come back, I loved this place, this garden, this life. I was as independent as I have never been before, I was able to do whatever I wanted, knowing that Jake supported me. If I stayed in La Push all eyes would be on us, watching our every moves and be ready to comment it. Something so different than freedom.

" don't be so cheesy,you know we'll come back." It didn't matter what I did, it was like he could read my mind."I´m NOT cheesy,I´m just ...looking if I forgot something."

"yeah,right. Oh wait is that your bra hanging on the tree?"

"I must´ve forgotten it after making out with Tony." His expression went from amused to shocked for a moment, causing me to twit him for believing me for even a fraction of a second. He pulled up one eyebrow, eying me with played reproach. This little conversation let me forget about my previous thoughts.

"Oh so you're still the same old bitch" he laughed and spun me around in his arms.

"Stop" I just had to giggle "we have to leave now." I desperately tried to loosen the grip he had on my, even if I was strong and could have beaten up any human, I could not keep up with a male werewolf.( AN: The truuueee (enjoy it! ) alpha *points at Jake, shoves middlefinger in Sams face and jumps up and down with an evil laugh*) When he had to catch his breath he got serious again, released me and took my hand, moving his thump in little circles over the back of my hand, reassuring me. He pulled me to the edge of the forest, taking a deep breath and nodding in my direction. After that we phased simultaneously, taking off into the endless depths of the rain forest.

JPOV

**"Are you sure you want to go?"** Leah thought.

**"Yeah I think so.I can´t wait to see Billy and the pack."**

**"So then , let´s do it!"**

Leah was big,but next to me she looked small,even cute, as we ran side by side. Leah slowed down so I could keep up with her, acting as if it was her normal pace, which made me smile. A few years ago she wouldn't have dreamed of being considerate towards anyone.

**"Are you afraid of meeting Bella-Bitch?" **She didn't mince matters, typicall for Leah Clearwater.

**"No, I´m not. I don´t think she will be there. And even if she was. ..well, it would bother me to see her like that. She still is my friend after all and nobody wants anything like this to happen to your friends. But there's nothing more, she's nothing but a friend. I'll handle it"**

**"Yeah. I understand that you feel that way. It's okay for me that you think like that. Actually I am afraid of meeting Sam. It's just...he caused me so much pain. I'm over him, it just might be a little strange to see him again. At least now I can be happy for Emily."**

**"I´m glad."**

We didn´t "talk" for a few miles, until Leah thought about Sam: That he had imprinted, that he had left her, that he had hurt her and that he had forgotten about her. It made me furious that she still thought that I would leave her, that she didn't trust me. Of course I had always known, what her fears were, but I had never heard them from her, she had never said it aloud. My heart sank as she doubted me, as she put me on one level with Sam. I had to protest, although I knew that she was right.

**"I will not leave you.I will not imprint.I am NOT Sam! I would never hurt you."**

**"How can you know? Sam didn't intend to hurt me. Nobody can break an imprint!"**

**"Nobody has ever tried. I am different, I am Jacob Black, grandson of Ephraim Black, the true alpha." **(AN: yes, I know... ;] )

**"It' nature. It's our it! We are big hairry wolfs, what do you expect?Those stupid legends took away our lifes, why should they stop infront of our love, our choices? On top of this it probably would only be stronger for you: The almighty, true alpha"**

**"No. They say imprinting is something special. Not everyone imprints. And I would definetely fight it! You know that I would. You know ME!" **It was the first time that I cried in wolf form, letting out my fear and disapointment.

**"Jake it's impossible"**

**"Leah, you're a wolf too. If I will imprint, then you will too. But that won't happen anyway."**

**"You're right, and I do trust you" **She objected my earlier thought.

**"I trust you too"**

I thought about our conversation, knowing that we could not be together forever. I just savoured and enjoyed every moment we had together. The rest of the trip neither of us said anything, we stayed silent, running and sometimes stopping to hunt .As we entered La Push I was glad that no one was in wolf form at the moment, giving us the chance to get used to the new and yet familiar place.

"So where are we going first?" I asked cheerfully, getting excited about the whole situation..

"I dunno. I 'd like to see Seth first. I have to know how he's doing and if he stopped phasing, just everything. You'll choose the next person we visit." she smiled at me, coming closer to kiss me. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the kiss, she pulled away much too fast, leaving me disappointed.

"I guess thats okay for me"

LPOV

"LEAH?Leah Clearwater where have you been? Why didn't you write or call or just let me know if you're alive?" Seth screamed as he opened the door.

"hey Seth it´s nice to see you too." I smiled at his hysteria about seeing me but I could understand him. I had missed him just as much as he had missed me.

"Wow. My big sis is back and look who's with her." He eyed Jake with suspicion, reminding me of the young Seth he had been ten years ago. I had noticed that he stopped phasing but not permanently. He looked like 25, not that this was much different than in the past, but his eyes and the little laugh lines around them, seeming more mature now ,gave him away, they showed that he hadn't been stuck in a body that remained the same for a decade.

"Hi Seth" Jake said, a wide grin across his face,showing his pearl white teeth. He tucked Seths head under his arm and messed with his hair, acting just like they had such a long time ago. I enjoyed the sight of my little brother being as happy and careless as I remembered him.

"Where have you been? I missed you so much" Seth asked, still breathing heavy from the "fight", he had just lost against Jake.

"Jake and I were in South settled there after moving around the world."

"Yeah. We love it and will go back, so we're just for visit. But don't worry we'll stay for a while."Jake added, destroying Seths hopes that I would stay in La Push. But his smile reappeared in no time, reaching his eyes. I noticed that they were exatly the same as mine, they have never been before. He had that sparkle, that pulled everbody under his spell, making whoever was around him happy. I realized that I had that sparkle now, Jake had brought it to my eyes, he cleared them from the fog that had prevented me from seeing the little things in live, the things that made life worth living.

"So Seth won´t you let me in my own house?" I teased him

"Oh sorry, of course"He hadn't noticed that we were still standing in the doorway.

As I entered the house, and went into the living room, I was happy that I had made the decision to come back. All the childhood memories flooding back, making me laugh, as I remembered Seth and me playing video games on the sofa(couch?).

"So you and my Sister are a couple now,I knew it. That was the only way things between you two could end up."

Seth quikly turned around when he heard the door crack, as if he had been waiting for the door to open the whole it opened a small, dark blond girl entered. Her skin was light brown and she flashed a brilliant smile at Seth as she looked at him. She wore a plain white dress,covering her really big stomach and carrying a big pink bag,which looked heavy. Seth saw that too,he jumped and was at her side in not even a second. he took the bag from her,held it with one hand,with the other he patted her stomach and then clung his arm aound her he kissed her with all his heart, forgetting about the 'special' guests with her there.

"Ehem."Leah coughed

"oh. yeah this is Marie,she is my imprint"He still couldn´t keep his eyes off her as he introduced her.

"Hi,you must be the famous Jacob Black and Leah Clearwater"She said in a high,clear voice.

" My little brother has imprinted,and it looks like she's you didn´t say a word." My heart sinking as I saw her baby-belly, made me feel horrible for not being happy for my brother and his girlfriend. But it wasn't fair. She had a wonderful boyfriend and a baby.

"Yes.I was too busy asking you questions"he said."Sorry"He apologized to Marie and me.

"Look what I bought!"Marie said in an excited voice, pointing at the bag.

"Well... it´s pink," Jacob mused, shaking his head.

"This are the cutest things ever. She will love it!" Marie exclamined, ignoring Jake.

"Yes,I'm sure she will. Marie thinks it will be a girl"Seth said smirking at her.

"Wow. What will you do if it is a boy?"Jacob asked laughing as he imagined the situation.

"She"Marie corrected" And I´m absolutely sure.A mother knows that" She said,stubborness in her eyes.

"If you say so." Seth answered her.

I didn't say anything, trying hard not to break down in the middle of the living room. Jake noticed in which state I was and turned to me with a worried look on his face which made me want to cry even harder for worrying him.

"Lee are you okay?" he asked, his deep set eyebrows crouching together and his hand reaching out to comfort me.

"Yes I was just thinking. Marie I'm sure you´re right. A mother has a sense for that. Seth I'm very tired from the journey. I'll just go take a nap bevor meeting the others"

"Yes. Ok."He didn't say anything else because he could sense that something was wrong just like Jake.

I walked upstairs and pushed the door to my old room open, finding evrything how it had once been. Once, a long time ago which seemed like eternity. Back then there were no monsters, no imprinting. I didn't have to be afraid of being left alone and I could dream of having a perfect little family in a small house with one or two children and a loving to blink the tears away I walked towards my bed, sat down and hugged my knees. Lifting my head I looked over to where Jake was.

"Lee,you wanna talk?" He asked, standing in the doorway, leaning against the door frame. I really didn't want to talk because he alredy knew what was up. But neither did I want to be alone. "No. Just hold me tight." I closed my eyes, waiting for his warm arms to comfort me and when I felt them I could cry. With him around it didn't matter what other people might think,with him my body relaxed and I could let my feelings flood my mind. Jacob sat down behind me, pulled me onto his lap and rocked me back and forth, knowing that it soothed me. But this time it took longer, I couldn't stop crying. My heart ached and my eyes hurt but Jake made it better. I enjoyed that he was stroking my hair and placed soft kisses on the top of my head as much as it was possible. I felt my eyelids getting heavier with every move he made and finally they dropped. I didn't have the power to open them again but I didn't even want to, so I just let the blackness surround me, let it swallow my pain..

* * *

I turned around in the bed, hearing the birds chirping outside , greeting the new day. I looked at the man lying next to me, instantly regretting that I had let him comfort me the night before. I knew how it hurt him to see me suffer and still I couldn't stop needing him. I was such a selfish bitch, I didn't deserve him. He loved me so much and I loved him but I knew that we weren't meant to be. Interrupting my thoughts Jake said: "Mhh, good mornig Lee." I marveled at his muscles flexing under his smooth skin as he streched. I loved him in the morning, his black hair still messy from sleeping and to see his eyes open again after hours of being closed. He was the beauty in person.

"Thanks." I whispered kissing his soft lips lightly. He hated it when I apologized to him so I just thanked him. He smiled, leaned into me, stroked my cheeks with his thumps and gazed into my eyes."Anytime" was all he said, before kissing me back. I sighed and he got up.

"I'm in the shower" He said with a suspicious look on his face. "Wanna join me?" A huge grin appeared on my face as I followed him. Hey, since there was only one shower in this house and we wanted to leave soon...


End file.
